Preventing and overcoming money problems takes honest and open communication. It also takes some time and effort. Talking about money is hard. It means more than just discussing the amount of income, who's spending what, and how much things cost.

Think about money--what does it mean to you? To some it means power. To others it may mean security or status. Take some time and find out just what you and your spouse think about money.

Included with this lesson is a worksheet called "Let's Talk about Money." Use it to get your discussions started. Don't wait until a problem occurs, try to talk on a regular basis.

Also choose a place where you won't be interrupted. Here are some other tips to follow:

1. People in general, are more supportive of decisions when they have been involved by giving some input. Try taking the democratic approach; Include all family members, even children, in helping make decisions about money as a team. Let everyone have a chance to express their opinion. You will find that family members are more likely to be satisfied if they helped in making the decision.
   
   
2. Clearly identify the issue or concern. Just what is the problem? None of us are immune to problems. Some families may just have more or different ones. Is the problem spending too much money, spending at the wrong time, or spending on unnecessary or unimportant items? Financial problems are made more serious by certain addictive behaviors (ex: drugs, alcohol, gambling etc.) If you suspect this might be the cause of the problem, please seek help from a localcounseling / mental health center or from a qualified professional. It is imperative that you start working to solve these kinds of problems as you also work on your financial ones.
   
   
3. Every family member should state his or her feelings, wants and needs freely. Others should not judge or criticize. Talk about the present. Try using "I" messages instead ofsaying "you always" or "you never." For example:" I get really upset when I find the gas tank is on empty whenever I go to drive the car."
   
   
4. Be sure to listen carefully to the other person. Let them know you understand what they said. For example: "Dad, you seemed upset when there was no gas in the car."
   
   
5. Be willing to negotiate for a realistic settlement of differences. Families must be ready to compromise. A verbal agreement is fine, but a written agreement may help even more to avoid conflicts. Example: When the gas tank gets to one quarter empty, the person driving is responsible for filling the tank.

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